How to talk to your partner about sex
Talking about sex is a skill
From behaviors to billboards, suggestions of sex and sexuality seep into our lives. However, vocabulary for sex does not always translate so perfectly into comfortable conversations. Especially when it comes to what we want and even during sex. But communication is part of having good sex. Willingness to talk about the kind of sex we have or want to have is a key skill. Having these conversations, your relationship with your partner can have emotional, psychological and mental benefits.
What to talk about when it comes to sex
Intimate conversations are not a pleasure, but you need to give them importance. Other topics about sex may include:
- sexual health
- how often you would like sex
- how to explore
- how to deal with differences in what we enjoy
Talking about these topics can also help build a foundation for a better relationship, while learning about each other and exploring new things together. It is also worth the inconvenience to talk about health, especially sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and birth control. Avoiding these vital conversations could endanger your health and change the future you hoped for.
Talking about STIs is part of owning your sexual health
Talking about your health with the people you will be sexually intimate with can be awkward. Asking them to test can make them feel invasive, especially if you have it before they have a chance to meet you. But not having these conversations can be worse. Knowing your sexual health can ease the anxieties that come with certain decisions. Many actors make xnxx movies with a condom on.
Consider asking your partner to accompany you when you go. If your partner is hesitant about testing and sharing results, your willingness to open up can help.
Sexual control and safe births
Like STIs, pregnancy affects both people involved. Men fail because they do not intensify and do nothing to control birth. Condoms will provide some protection against infection and can prevent pregnancy more than 80 percent of the time, when used correctly. If you have a relationship in which you and your partner have chosen not to use or use condoms, you should start another birth control conversation. Birth control is a responsibility for everyone involved. You and your partner share the experience, whether it’s the side effects of birth control or pregnancy. So why not make sure the end result is what you both want and expect? There are many different types of birth control, so be sure to talk to your doctor about your options and what choices may suit you.
How can you talk about how much sex you want to have?
Every healthy sexual relationship requires constant communication. It is important to focus on both your needs and your partner’s needs. It is a good idea to be open about your needs and always keep communication open. If you want to ask for less sex, you could try to emphasize their attributes to suggest new ideas. Call on your partner’s interests and form a new activity or date around it that you will both enjoy. Getting more or less sex can lead to vulnerabilities. Sexual preferences should be easy to discuss because they ultimately lead to your pleasure, but they are often difficult to discuss because we fear judgment. Some people do not want to be perceived as too sexual because they want more sex. Others may worry that asking for less sex may mean that their partner is not doing the right thing. Incorporate your concerns into the discussion. Talking about sex works best as a two-way conversation.
Consent
Remember that both parties should agree to have sex. Just because you have sex with your long-term partner does not mean that consent has been given. If you ever feel sexually coerced by a partner or are forced to have sex or be touched in a way you don’t want to, you can talk to your parents, your doctor, or a social worker about any concerns you may have.
Respectfully discovering appreciations and dissatisfaction
Talking about how sex touches, nuances, and even fantasies might progress is less straightforward than talking about STIs, birth control, or sex frequency. Sexual appreciations and dissatisfaction can run on a spectrum. These are activities you love, but what about things you haven’t even heard of? Or when your desires change? Communicating such intimate needs requires a high level of trust and confidence. At the same time, communication creates this trust. Think about what you would be comfortable with and what things you would be uncomfortable with. Remember that you can always change your mind. Communicating these things with your partner helps keep things open.
Opening the conversation
Sometimes we are hindered by the lack of language. It is useful to start from the perspective of pleasure and affection. Two partners who are sexually involved with each other, in the end, want to enjoy each other.
Watch movies to start conversations and explore
Consider erotic stimulation in entertainment if you still can’t find the words or time to say what you want. Watching movies is a great way to facilitate conversations with your partner. Ask questions to understand how your partner might feel about it. You may ask, “Was it hot?” or “Have you ever tried something like that?” The spirit of conversations like these should be openness and curiosity, not judgment.
Pornography offers a lot of inspiration for sexy ideas. For beginner viewers, it is the best method. It is perfectly good not to go on with anything that bothers you. In reality, the chances of your sexual fantasies overlapping perfectly are unlikely.
Where and when to talk
In addition to getting the words in the right order, many relationship experts emphasize that the place and time you have intimate conversations is important.
Do not open this topic
- when he enters the door
- when they are hungry or tired
- in bed or before bed
- before or after sex
Talk about sex after sex can be criticized or smoothed out. By talking in advance, you may be able to get exactly what you want. When the time is right, it’s a good idea to give your partner an idea that your topic might be a little out of the ordinary.
Basics of communication
Respect and feelings are key aspects of a relationship. The use of so-called statements is a communication technique that helps to accentuate the speaker’s experience, without embarrassing, blaming or complaining about the other person.
How to navigate through differences
If respect is present, you can close the gaps. But sometimes it’s surprisingly hard to know if respect is there, especially in the beginning of a relationship. If your new partner refuses to take STI tests or share their results, they may communicate their disrespect nonverbally. It is difficult to assess whether the situation will improve over time. But differences should not lead to an ultimatum. Interruption is not necessary when you and your long-time partner have a conflict of interest.
